1. The NBA

2. Of the swallows, to Mission San Juan Capistrano

3. Major League Baseball

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4. The Second Coming*

5. ... of the Jedi

6. MacArthur, to the Philippines

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7. ... of the King

8. ... of the Living Dead

9. The NFL

10. Periodical cicadas

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11. Batman ...

12. College basketball

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13, College football

14. Being hit by a car

15. "... of the Mack"

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*speculative; it's supposed to be pretty cool