Returns, Ranked

1. The NBA

2. Of the swallows, to Mission San Juan Capistrano

3. Major League Baseball

4. The Second Coming*

5. ... of the Jedi

6. MacArthur, to the Philippines

7. ... of the King

8. ... of the Living Dead

9. The NFL

10. Periodical cicadas

11. Batman ...

12. College basketball

13, College football

14. Being hit by a car

15. "... of the Mack"

*speculative; it's supposed to be pretty cool