1. The NBA

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2. Of the swallows, to Mission San Juan Capistrano

3. Major League Baseball

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4. The Second Coming*

5. ... of the Jedi

6. MacArthur, to the Philippines

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7. ... of the King

8. ... of the Living Dead

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9. The NFL

10. Periodical cicadas

11. Batman ...

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12. College basketball

13, College football

14. Being hit by a car

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15. "... of the Mack"

*speculative; it's supposed to be pretty cool