1. The NBA

2. Of the swallows, to Mission San Juan Capistrano

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3. Major League Baseball

4. The Second Coming*

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5. ... of the Jedi

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6. MacArthur, to the Philippines

7. ... of the King

8. ... of the Living Dead

9. The NFL

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10. Periodical cicadas

11. Batman ...

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12. College basketball

13, College football

14. Being hit by a car

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15. "... of the Mack"

*speculative; it's supposed to be pretty cool