Oh Man, The Lakers Are In Big, Big Trouble

Yep, the Lakers really are going with this whole "play terrible basketball on purpose" thing. Last night against the Rockets, they attempted 10 three-pointers as a team—two more than Houston's Trevor Ariza fired up by himself—and sent the Rockets to the free-throw line 50 times. They did both of those things on… » 10/29/14 9:55am Wednesday 9:55am

Watch These Non-Ohioans Try To Eat Gross-Ass Cincinnati Chili

Here's twelve non-Ohioans (West-Coasters, specifically) trying to choke down some signature Ohio foods. There's a pretty broad selection of foods, here—Glier's goetta and so forth—but the centerpiece is the Skyline 3-way; they start eating it around 2:10 in the video. Spoiler alert: They think it's gross! » 10/23/14 5:48pm 10/23/14 5:48pm

My Friends, It Is Time To Send Brooklyn Beneath The Waves

One of the challenges of writing about things on the internet is having the discipline to contain yourself, for the sake of being able to call an item of work finished instead of knitting it into some mammoth all-encompassing rant about, like, American culture or capitalism or the human condition or whatever that will… » 10/23/14 1:29pm 10/23/14 1:29pm

Bill Murray Reminisces About Slingin' Little Caesars Pizza

Itinerant viral-video elf Bill Murray appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night and talked about making pizzas at Little Caesars earlier in life, "back when Little Caesars was really great." (So, like, presumably before they attempted to turn "our pizzas are old!" into a marketing angle.) He worked there with… » 10/22/14 11:36am 10/22/14 11:36am

Reviewer Jump-Kicks Macho Steakhouse's Dick And Balls Into The Sun

Beast is a self-consciously primal London steak-and-crab restaurant, all ludicrously oversized tables and steaks and crab legs and prices, presented gravely as though in mourning of the fallen at Helm's Deep; a display of such over-the-top machismo that even Vladimir Putin rolls his eyes at it when he flies overhead… » 10/20/14 11:22am 10/20/14 11:22am

Oh, fuck off. If you think "people who break into other people's houses and murder them are bad" is some underrepresented viewpoint in our society, write it yourself. Chock it full of all the dog-whistle racism and aggrieved "BUT TEH BLAX DO IT TOO" white dipshit anger you're just itching to get off your chest. And… » 10/19/14 7:38pm 10/19/14 7:38pm

How To Make Fried Mozzarella, Instead Of Getting It At A Crummy Bar

It's a perverse testament to fried mozzarella's greatness that even in its shittiest incarnations, even when it's just battered and deep-fried sticks of rubbery Polly-O string cheese prepared and served at your local dire corporate chain eatery with all the care and enthusiasm of a wino tumbling down a flight of… » 10/18/14 11:51am 10/18/14 11:51am

Hey, Where The Hell Is Bill Simmons's Friday NFL Picks Column?

Where in the damn hell is the Friday NFL picks column? Just where the hell is it? Don't come at me with this Barnwell skunkweed oregano shit, man. The suspension is over, man, I need that good Simmons shit, the freshest NFL picks weed. I pay my mortgage on Simmons picks! Jesus fucking Christ where are the Simmons… » 10/17/14 7:22pm 10/17/14 7:22pm